Relationship breakups have the tendency of throwing any individual into a world of agony, despair, haunting memories and emotions. And the longer the relationship, stronger these tendencies get and getting over your ex becomes more difficult and takes longer.
In plain English, the secret to surviving a breakup is nothing more than time. This truth may however not settle down well with someone who has just been through a breakup but remains the only true key to recovering from the pain of a breakup.
Are you encountering relationship problems or starting a new relationship?
Everyone is looking for a date to add some flavor to their lives. There are numerous ways of finding a suitable date. One of them is online dating. This method is becoming very popular among people of all ages and genders.
Below are some tips for successful online dating:
• Select a suitable site
There is a variety of sites available for online dating. However, selection of an unsuitable site could lead to frustration. It also implies wastage of time and effort. One way to select a dating site is by analyzing the nuances of various sites through a review site.
Reasons you are failing in dating
Decades ago, online dating was flown upon. This is because many people viewed it as the last resort after the traditional methods of dating have failed. This is no longer the case. Due to penetration of technology and busy lifestyles, many people are now using the dating sites to find love.
I went to the memorial service recently for a wonderful friend who was a fine gentleman and who had a ton of friends. Great guy. At the start of the service [I was honored to give the invocation] the family showed a slide show, pictures running all the way back to his childhood through the last years of his life.
Know what you want
Before you create your online dating profile, sit down and think about what you are really out for. The kind of woman you would like to meet which includes her personality, hobbies, attitudes, her general disposition, qualifications etc. This will serve as a guide for you as you will be able to go after the woman of your dreams. Try to make this part of your profile but put it in a positive manner that won’t turn off your kinda girl. This will also make the woman see you as someone who is focused and she also will work towards being that kind of woman.
Play the lead role. Don’t expect a lady to be too forward for your sake, they might feel cheap. Ladies will expect you to play your role by taking charge. Make her feel relaxed and safe. You can ask a girl you met online for her number after the 3rd or 4th message. It shouldn’t be on the first chat so she won’t feel as if you just want to take her for granted. You should also not delay too much before you ask for her number because she will get to see you as normal chat mate and she might lose interest after a while or even stop replying your chats. Also try to initiate the idea of you meeting at a public place in a broad day light so she will feel more secure.
Don’t take women for granted
The fact that it is a dating site doesn’t mean you should ask virtually all the ladies on the platform for a date. Don’t always be online as if you are jobless and don’t make it look like an interview where you are always submitting your CV. Try to show your sincerity.
Always write simple correct sentences
Short messages and statements full of errors will turn down any woman you approach. Always double-check your text for errors. Make every message a girl get from you worthwhile. Let her always look forward to reading your messages. A lady likes a confident man.
See online dating as the kick-off
The site is only a platform where you guys met. You have to meet the woman in person and know how things will work out for the best. Reality is the only place you can nurture what you want. You have to see in order to make the relationship grow.
Read success stories about online dating
Get tips from people who met their wives online, you can make use of their experience to make yours work.
Online dating isn’t something that attracts everybody and sometimes we have heard some very scary things about the same. At the initial stages, it was perceived that anyone looking for a dating partner online was actually just desperate. Today, it isn’t such a taboo and with the technological rise, there is no end in sight. While some of us prefer to meet in real life, there are some thrills associated with online dating. Some of the benefits are:
• Finding a match is very fast
When you choose to use a dating site, you only need to create a profile and then literally browse singles in a matter of seconds. Usually, you will need to create a profile where you input things like email address, location, gender, name and the dating preferences that you have. It is important to take some time as you create your profile so as to ensure you get the desired effect.
When you decide to meet people physically at a club or a bar, then you will need to pay an entry fee and even drinks. Sometimes you may end up spending money on food too. This may be a bit too high for you and you don’t have a guarantee whether the person you meet will be special or not. For dating sites, it is possible to enjoy free trial for some time. The membership you get exposes you to millions of potential singles. You can be able to pick a date that could develop into a relationship and later on marriage.
• Saving time
Going out at night as a single is demanding since you have to pick a spot, dress up and then drive or take a cab to the destination where you have to stick for some hours waiting for potential people that you can talk to. There are no guarantees. With online dating, you only need an internet connection and you can meet people sitting in your living room.
• You can be specific about what you want
When you meet someone in real life, it is exciting because they are a mystery that you unravel with time. However with time you may discover something about them that you don’t approve of. You may hate smoking and later discover the person you met actually smokes. With online sites, you can be very specific saying you don’t approve of smoking. You can make a whole list of desires that you are so as to find if anyone fits the criteria set.
• You establish common ground very fast
Getting into a conversation is one of the greatest setbacks that most people face when they are on a real date. Striking a conversation with a total stranger offline is one of the hardest things that you may have to deal with. As for online dating, things are much easier. You have already given out quite a bit of information so striking a conversation shouldn’t be too hard.
• Less stress
Online dating is still quite a young industry. However, it is gaining popularity because it takes away so much pressure from you. You can control as much or as little as you want.
When a relationship comes to an end, it can be a sign that it has run its course; consequently, each person can be happy to move on with their life. What this could show is that they had been having problems for quite some time.
It was then only a matter of time before their time together came to an end and they both went their separate ways. Now that it is over, it is likely to have a positive effect on their wellbeing.
A New Start
For one of them, this could be like a new beginning; a time when they will be able to do the things that they were unable to do before. This could mean that they were with someone who was controlling, but this might not be the case.
It could simply show that they had other priorities, and that this caused them to neglect certain needs. Either way, they will now have more time to focus on what they overlooked before.
Straight Back In
Alternatively, both of them could end up seeing someone else more or less straight away – or this might only apply to one of them. They are then not going to feel the need to take a break and to find themselves again, so to speak.
If both of them ended up with someone else, it might not bother either of them if they were to find out about what the other person is doing. They might be pleased that their ex has found someone else to be with.
Yet, if only one of them has found someone else, it could have a negative effect on the other. This might be hard to understand; especially as both of them were happy to move on with their life.
What this could show is that they formed an emotional connection with this person, and this is why they feel this way. Part of them can then be happy that it has ended; yet another part of them can be in pain.
Life Goes On
After finding out about this, one could spend a lot of time thinking about their ex, or they could soon let it go. One could say to themselves that as they are no longer with them, it doesn’t matter who they are with.
Through having this outlook, it is going to be a lot easier for them to focus on their own life. If, on the other hand, they get caught up in what their ex is or is not doing, it is going to stop them from being able to do this.
But if one was to find that they are unable to focus on their own life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for the right assistance. This can show that the part of them that wants to move on is stronger than the part of them that doesn’t.
If they were to reach out, this could be a time when they will have to work through the pain that is within them. Through experiencing loss, they can be carrying a lot of grief within them, and this may need to be cried out.
When a relationship ends and each person is happy with this outcome, it could be said that this will be the ideal scenario. Both of them can experience pain – one person might even experience more pain than the other – but at least they will have wanted it to end.
Whereas, if one person wanted it to end but the other person didn’t, it is going to be a lot harder for one of them to move on. There is then not just going to be a small part of them that is in pain – a big part of them is going to be in a bad way.
It Doesn’t End There
It could end up getting even worse, though, and this is because on could find out that their ex has found someone else. This can cause them to think about if they actually meant anything to the other person.
And if one ended the relationship and their ex found someone else soon after, they can also wonder what is going on. Yet, if they ended the relationship and the other person didn’t want it to end, this is to be expected.
What’s going On?
On the surface, it can seem as though the other person has simply moved on with their life and that’s all there is to it. However, appearances are often deceiving, and this can mean that it might not be this black and white.
What it can show is that the other person wanted to feel better, which is why they are with someone else. This could mean that their relationship will soon come to an end or, it might last for a little while.
A Few Reasons
In the same way that there are number of reasons as to why someone would eat food, there are also a number of reasons as to why they would have a relationship. One can eat food to avoid how they feel and they can have a relationship to do achieve the same outcome.
At the same time, they can eat food to supply their body with what it needs to function and they can have a relationship that will allow them to grow and develop. This can then be seen as what happens when one acts in a conscious manner and what happens when they act in an unconscious manner.
Also, one may even start a new relationship just to get back at their ex; the person they are with is then going to be used. One is then going to be in a lot of pain and they can cause someone else to suffer through not taking responsibility for how they feel.
If one is in pain, and they want to do something about this, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include ‘A Dialogue With The Heart’ and ‘Communication Made Easy’.